The New Face of Infidelity

The New Face of Infidelity

Research shows women may be cheating now almost as much as men; the toll of new temptations

Some 60 years ago, Alfred Kinsey delivered a shock to midcentury sexual sensibilities when he reported that at some point in their marriages, half of the men and a quarter of the women in the U.S. had an extramarital affair. No one puts much stock in Dr. Kinsey's high numbers any more—his sampling methods suffered from a raging case of selection bias—but his results fit the long-standing assumption that men are much more likely to cheat than women.

Lately, however, researchers have been raising doubts about this view: They believe that the incidence of unfaithfulness among wives may be approaching that of husbands. The lasting costs of these betrayals will be familiar to the many Americans who have experienced divorce as spouses or children.

Among the most reliable studies on this issue is the General Social Survey, sponsored by the National Science Foundation, which has been asking Americans the same questions since 1972. In the 2010 survey, 19% of men said that they had been unfaithful at some point during their marriages, down from 21% in 1991. Women who reported having an affair increased from 11% in 1991 to 14% in 2010.

A 2011 study conducted by Indiana University, the Kinsey Institute and the University of Guelph found much less of a divide: 23% for men and 19% for women. Such numbers suggest the disappearance of the infidelity gender gap, but some caution is in order.

An enduring problem for researchers—even those who sample with meticulous care—is that any such survey is asking for confessions from people who are presumably lying to their spouses. Researchers generally believe that actual infidelity numbers are higher than the results indicate.

It should also be emphasized that cheating in the U.S. isn't epidemic or inevitable, for either sex. Surveys consistently find that by far the majority of respondents value monogamy and think that infidelity is harmful. And if you believe the General Social Survey's finding that 14% of women are cheating, keep in mind that 86% aren't.

Still, even though survey accuracy is difficult to achieve and experts are by no means unanimous, it would appear that women are, indeed, catching up. In my own work as a psychologist and in my social circle, I see more women not only having affairs but actively seeking them out. Their reasons are familiar: validation of their attractiveness, emotional connection, appreciation, ego—not to mention the thrill of a shiny new relationship, unburdened by the long slog through the realities of coupledom.

Researchers also point to other factors that might be leading women to stray more. One is what might be called "infidelity overload." Scan the plots on any given week in television, and there seems to be more extramarital sex than marital sex. (Few spouses stay put in "Mad Men.") With women portrayed as eager participants and aggressive instigators, there may be a feeling that infidelity has become more acceptable.

And then there is the opportunity factor—more travel, more late nights on the job and more interaction with men mean that the chances and temptations to stray have multiplied for the new generation of working women.

A 2011 study at Tilburg University in the Netherlands, published in the journal Psychological Science, argues that infidelity is also a function of greater economic and social power, which creates confidence and personal leverage for both genders. Women can now use their power in ways to which men have long been accustomed.

Social networks are another factor, if only by expanding the pool of possible partners. Emotional friendships that turn physical are the traditional point of entry for female affairs. It is now easy for those friendships to take root online. 

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Home Health Aides Often As Old As Their Clients

Home Health Aides Often As Old As Their Clients

  

In a red brick rambler in a Maryland suburb of Washington, D.C., Onether Lowery begins her daily shift as a caregiver. She skillfully helps 86-year-old Rosalie Lewis into her electric wheelchair, holding her from the back, then bending over to ease her down.

It's an impressive feat: Lowery herself is 80 years old.

"My mother, she was 89 when she passed away," Lowery says. "I took care of her and I just fell in love with older people. I get along with them very well."

As America ages, its 2.5 million home health workers are graying right along with the clients they care for. And by all accounts, these older workers are especially well suited to the job.

Lowery is proud of how she can patiently coax clients to eat — even when they don't feel like it — how her experience helps her sense what they need. She used to care for Lewis' sister as well. At one point, the sister needed extra help, and Lowery says an agency sent younger caregivers.

"Well, she would always tell me when they wasn't around that they didn't do anything, not unless she asked them to do it," she says. "But me, I see things and I do it."

As a whole, home health aides are largely female and far older than women in the general workforce. The Paraprofessional Healthcare Institute says more than a quarter of aides are 55 or older, a share that's expected to rise to a third by 2020.

"A number of our clients will ask for a more 'mature' worker," says Marla Lahat, who heads Home Care Partners in Washington, D.C., the agency that employs Lowery. In this case, "mature" means "older."

"Sometimes they're a little bit afraid of the younger generation," she says, "and they know that a worker that's closer to their age is somebody that they feel more comfortable with and more trusting."

And in an industry where turnover is high, Lahat says, it's older workers who tend to stay in the job.

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Financial Wellness: Black Friday Deals Are Not Deals

Financial Health - The Myth of the Black Friday Deal

Attention Black Friday shoppers: You're probably wasting your time.

After crunching two to six years' worth of pricing data for a number of typical holiday gifts, The Wall Street Journal has turned up the best times to go deal hunting — and they almost never involve standing in the freezing cold all night.

It turns out that gifts from Barbie dolls to watches to blenders are often priced below Black Friday levels at various times throughout the year, even during the holiday season, and their prices follow different trajectories as the remaining shopping days tick down.

Watches and jewelry, typical last-minute quarry for well-heeled shoppers, get more expensive as the season progresses, according to Decide Inc., the consumer-price research firm that gathered and analyzed the data for this article. Blenders, which might sit around for months if they aren't bought in the holiday window, get much cheaper at the end.

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